20; A Change of Scenery

So Sandy– excuse me, Shiela, ups and changes her and Birdie’s (whoops, Jesse’s) entire lives.  I will continue calling Birdie, Birdie, as I don’t see Jesse a fitting name for her.  Birdie says, on page 136, “I remembered those years mostly in fragments, a montage of unconnected images which I would begin to make sense of only later…”  She claims that she found comfort in the fact that they had not settled down- were living in motels and sometimes out of their car- sleeping next to each other under an afghan that would follow them for a long time.  She says that as long as they didn’t settle, there was hope for her that things would return to normal, to Boston with Cole and Deck and everyone all together.

Next thing you know, Sandy has landed them a cottage-house on the Marsh land.  They have their own spot and have been there for three weeks.  Birdie admits it to be nice to be in the same spot.  But she and Sandy are paranoid and suspicious of everyone.  “I believed everything my mother told me,” Birdie says.  Her mother basically brainwashes her into paranoia, as seen later in the book beyond this section.

On page 149, Birdie talks about “being hungry for something unnameable.”  What does this mean?  What is she yearning for?  She brings it up as she watches her Mr. and Mrs. Marsh sit on the couch holding hands.  Is it love?  Is it family?  Closeness?  I don’t know.  She is pretty close with her mother.

Another important tidbit in this section is the beginning of the end of elemeno.  Could it be?  She says it began sounding like gibberish to her, because she had not spoken it in so long.  Is this the end of her blending into her surroundings, of her and her mom being unmemorable people in the world?

At the very end of this section, on 179, Birdie recalls her mom’s friend Bernadette saying, “Once they meet a man, all their defenses go to hell.  Can’t trust them for shit once a man walks in the room.”   Maybe some foreshadowing?!

One more quote that I would like to point out is on 175.  The mother says, ” ‘There are people in your life who seem good, and people who seem just all right,’ she told me, twirling a copper strand of her hair and chewing thoughtfully on a fry.  ‘But when it comes to a crisis, there are only those who will save you and those who will abandon you.’ “

“The music he played sounded like a bunch of trash cans rolling down a hill.” (170)  …sounds like the band that plays next door to my apartment!

P.S. what does an alcoholic nose look like?! (176)